It’s Sunday, the day of rest- I’m resting. The 7 year-old is spending the day with his father, the 15 year-old is at a friend’s house following a sleepover last night, I have the smallest house in the world to myself. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for my mind, I am being driven mental by hideous amounts of head noise.
I contain the thoughts, feelings, ideas, problems, needs, wants, complaints, worries and minor irritations of [number I will never reveal] individuals- it’s impossible to hear them all let alone listen. When head noise gets to this level it’s disabling and much of the time is spent just staring into space waiting for my brain to melt and trickle out of my ear.
It’s a struggle to write, I can’t decide what to write about and I could easily write several posts all at the same time. I’m bored yet full of ideas and not short of things I could and want to do. I have lots to say but I don’t want to talk about it.
I don’t know what, if anything I can do to resolve or even alleviate this- even just writing that down had me bombarded with multiple suggestions.
It’s too much, I can’t concentrate, I’m lonely but glad I don’t have to speak to anyone, I’m confused and confused about my confusion, the day has been short and about 4 weeks long already, I’ve done everything and nothing, I have loads of things to do and I can’t get anything done.
So I’m not going to do anything, except perhaps attempt to install some sort of internal queuing system which I’m sure can be done whilst staring into space.