Two years ago today I wrote this blog post
Some time last year that post was edited and the link within changed- the link was originally to the Wikipedia entry on DID (which incidentally I think is rubbish). I know why it was changed and for the purposes of this post it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that for two years I’ve known I had DID, the nature of DID means that I didn’t always know I had it and often didn’t think I had it- but I do and I’ve known for a very long time.
This post is dedicated to all the psychiatrists, psychologists, nurses & doctors (and there have been many) that have met me and treated me in those two years; I know many of them read the blog (though strangely they never leave comments). Even if you’ve never had the privilege of being involved in my ‘care’ if your profession brings you into contact with human beings, you may learn something too so please read on.
I can’t believe you all missed it, it was hardly subtle and I did, very kindly point it out on a number of occassions. You all need to learn about dissociation and dissociative disorders, you all need to find the courage, humility and confidence to do what’s right for those in your care. If you don’t know what you’re doing- admit it and find someone else who does. Listen to your patients, accept what is true for them, however distasteful, frightening and anxiety provoking it is for you. Put your egos to one side; ignore the flawed politics of the system you represent, stop damaging people who have been damaged enough, admit you got it wrong. If your manager/colleagues/profession are unsupportive- call them out on it, stand-up for yourselves, stand-up for your patients.
It’s too late for me, the damage caused by your mistakes is huge- but there will be others and you owe it to them, to your profession and to yourselves to ensure you don’t do to them what you did to me.
Don’t make anyone else have to fight the way I had to fight to get the correct diagnosis, care and treatment- for that fight was very damaging. Don’t assume that you know more than your patients, for all your qualifications it is the person sitting opposite you who is the expert on their own mind. Listen, believe and accept, if you can’t or won’t, have the decency to find someone who can and will. I hope every one of you has learned something from me and I hope some of you will go on to learn more in order that you can do your job and do it well.
You hold peoples lives in your hands, you have great power- but always remember what Spiderman said……. or Voltaire if that’s your bag, he said it too but Spiderman says it better.
A multiple never forgets
Zoe
I’ve nothing but admiration for the way you’ve battled on through such awful times. The treatment you’ve received from some mental health professionals has been appalling – but gold stars for the Ninja CPN. Let’s just hope that your experience is a lesson learned for those who’ve been responsible for you.
I hope your treatment goes well. Big hugs xx
Hi
nice to see you over here. It has been a battle but I have an army- and a lot of good friends. The Ninja CPN will be showered in gold stars should she ever return from deepest, darkest Englandshire.
I really hope some of them learn something, I’d hate for anyone to have to go through what I did.
The right help remains right and helpful- it’s all I ever wanted.
Xxx
I do hope you are now getting the help you need.
I am and what’s more- it’s helping. Having been through what I’ve been through I never dared imagine such a thing.
Xxx
Hmmmm. More than one lot of handwriting? This is an education in the feebleness of services that are supposed to help. I bet you’re glad to be the subject of that education. I still don’t get why people won’t own up to a gap in their knowledge and seek advice. Ego I suppose. I’m not proud, I’m always asking people stuff. Doesn’t help you much though. I’m just glad to see the targeted and very specific rage. When you can, give them hell. xx
Oh I’ll “like”but not like this, if you get my drift.
Hi
from the start any ‘mood diary’ has had several different styles of handwriting- never mind that during some of my weaker, more drugged up, in the bin times some psychs et al had access to the ‘artwork’ all of it screams MULTIPLE!
I don’t understand why ‘professionals’ won’t admit to not knowing how to do something, it’s ego for some but lack of confidence and bowing to the hierarchy that they all like to pretend no longer exists for others. They all have their own excuses and most of them ultimately blame me for my ‘complexity’.
I’m glad you ‘like’ it, it like it too, it was very cathartic.
Xxx
You are fucking amazing… And I hear you and I fucking wish “THEY” had, way back when:
“Don’t assume that you know more than your patients, for all your qualifications it is the person sitting opposite you who is the expert on their own mind. Listen, believe and accept, if you can’t or won’t, have the decency to find someone who can and will.”
How fucking dare they!!!! Can you tell I’m angry??? Books mean fuck all!!! People and their words mean everything!!!
Priviledged to know you… Soooo excited to possibly meet you !!!!
You are real and true…you will find peace one day… But until then do what is needed. The right help sounds fab xxx
Loadsandloadsofhugs
xxxxxx
Hi Dawn
*calms you down*
you should get a job with the NHS now that you’re qualified, that CBT course you did in order to basically prove everything I ever told you about CBT was true would come in handy too.
DON’T FFS! The NHS would suck the life out of you in seconds with their approach to mental illness.
They didn’t listen for so long- then when they listened a tiny bit they didn’t like what they heard so they tried to change it, to change me- well they clearly stood no fucking chance with that one.
I’m doing what I need to do, it’s slow and hard but that increased sense of ‘selves-sufficiency’ we have thanks to the right help is a massive improvement, I think it’s only 12 sessions we’ve had, not sure but there’s been more progress in those 12 sessions than there was ever before.
Hopefully see you soon.
Xxx
Wow the irony…
“calms you down” !!!
Yes hopefully meet soon xxxx
Multi-tasking and taking turns, I was calming you down so you could help someone else cope with the night-time mentals on twitter!
You’re no good to us if you’re all overwrought.
Xxx
Good, glad I could help.
Xxx
Alwaysxxxx
As I read this post I felt a lump forming and then growing in my throat. D’ya know what made the first (of many) tears fall? It your collage. As I scrolled down I thought it would be one page… maybe two? No. Three pages of memories. Three pages! I hope the people involved with your ‘care’ read, take note and step up their game.
Hi LF
there I go, making people cry again. It’s amazing and very new to me- nothing is forgotten- nothing, it’s simply stored and, well bring out a few pads of the beloved Post-its, some pens and a Pritt-stick and away we go.
That discovery came after only 12 sessions of ‘the right help’.
I hope each and every one of the MH ‘professionals’ I encountered along the way has learned something, I intend to keep up the education- just in case anyone missed anything.
Xxx
I had a lump in my throat – reading that it’s the right help that prompted this has made the tears fall. I’m so glad the right help has eventually been found.
xxx
Hi Narky
I’m glad too, NHS Fife made me feel like something abhorrent, their ‘dirty little secret’ for so long- the right help makes me feel that one day, I might be awesome.
Xxx
You already are awesome. One day you’ll just be awesomer.
[...] at Mental Political Parent has written an awesome (and tear jerking) post to the professionals who were supposed to be [...]
bloody good on you for posting this. I am sick of having to fight for diagnoses and for the help that, so often, we know we need before the bloody ‘professionals’ do. What they don’t seem to understand is that we are all professionals in our own heads. Our heads aren’t text book cases and we have more time to work out what the hell is going on. If they just got off their bloody pedestal and bothered to converse with us mere mortals, perhaps they would see past the end of their perfectly manicured fingers.
I really hope your team read this post and take note.
Sorry you had such a hard time with it. It pisses me off how bloody common it is
Hi
You’re right, it happens far too often and just keeps happening. They train, gain the knowledge but somehow never get the whole ‘human to human’ interaction that’s essential to do their jobs and do them well. All they have to do is listen, it’s not difficult.
“we are all professionals in our own heads” is so true.
The sad part is that I can’t see it changing any time soon.
Xxx
What an extremely impressionable and revealing image. Thanks for liking my post. I think im going to like every one of yours! B
Hi
thanks for commenting, welcome to the blog, nice to meet you.
Xxx